Like many singles you’ve probably been asked “why are you single” and you’ve no doubt pondered the same thing. I mean you are great right? You are independent, kind, have heaps going for you, good looking and an all-round great catch so why is it so hard to find the one? Maybe there are just no decent people in your age group or dating apps aren’t for you or maybe there is something else to consider.
If you are feeling unlucky in love or just can’t seem to meet the right person here are the most common reasons and what to do about them.
Expert tips to help you enjoy modern dating
1. Being overly fussy about your ideal match
Reassess your check list
When you’ve got a smorgasbord of choices, why not choose the best on the table right? Are you going after the untouchables? The 10% every single woman or man is looking for? Are you in touch with reality and confusing what you deserve with what is realistic? The beauty of modern dating apps and sites is you can connect with as many people as you like and meet a variety of possible matches you may have never met ‘in the wild’. I’m not saying don’t have standards but make sure you aren’t being so fussy that nobody measures up. Even dating site, eHarmony has named this common affliction The ‘Picky Problem’ showcasing the difference of a healthy selectiveness ensuring you’re careful about who you get involved with, to all-out extreme and irrationally demanding. Time to identify the truly important elements which lead to lasting relationship and compromise on your hard and fast checklist. Expand your parameters, don’t be so quick to judge and might just be swept off your feet!
2. Your dating profile and social media is a turn off
There’s no place to hide online, so ensure you’re being truthful about who you are. Overly filtering yourself, pretending to be someone you’re not or playing games will only get you so far, as eventually, you’ll want to meet your date in person. Ensure you’re true to who you are and carry that across your entire online presence. Clean up your social media before you start dating in a recent survey 63% of daters admitted to checking out someone’s social media before going on a date. Dating profile photos are make or break in the online world and the wrong photos can backfire. Provocative photos won’t get you more swipes according to a survey conducted by Tinder nor will group photos, sunglasses or no photos. Showcase your unique passions and interests, get great photos and put time into curating your profile to be truly conversation-starting and swipe-stopping! To find out how you profile measure up get your free analysis here
3. You aren’t having great first dates
How to have great first dates
Cheesy pickup lines, poor hygiene, bad spelling. Could it get any worse? First (and second) impressions matter. It can be easy to get complacent online when we’re hiding behind a screen. But going the extra mile, making a memorable impression or suggesting an out-of-the-box first date can help you stand out even more! Ditch boring coffee dates and try something new. Whether you’re a shy guy, new to dating, or struggle with confidence, practice makes perfect and a little effort on the first message or date can go a long way. From limiting body language fails to following up with a nice message after the first date, these simple gestures can help you make a lasting impression and keep them interested.
4. You write people off too quickly
Why you need the second date
It’s possible to find real love in 2021 even in lockdowns. The most common reason you’re single is you write someone off too soon. Going through your check list and deciding someone isn’t for you after one date or writing someone off after a week of texting communication expecting an instant connection isn’t realistic. Instead of discovering more about a person you’re rushing through the process. Slow down and commit to getting to know someone. It takes time to find the right person don’t just take my word for it the proof is in results. This survey revealed it took singles an average of 16 matches and up to five dates with each to person to find a match online! Taking things slowly in the initial stages, giving dates a second chance and investing the time to cultivate a stronger connection will speed up your chances of finding love not slow it down.
5. You lack confidence
Work on your self-worth
Confidence comes in many forms it isn’t just your social confidence it is the confidence to try new things, set healthy boundaries, say no and believe in what you have to offer. Being needy and insecure is different than having a quieter personality. Confidence is being able to handle rejection without taking it personally and going after what you want without fearing rejection.
6. You haven’t mastered virtual dating
Use technology to find your perfect match
Like it or not it’s time to accept life and certainly the way you connect, and date may never go back to the way it was. You may still choose not to meet someone with the help of technology as you still have many options but when it comes to dating in lockdown technology plays a significant role. Being stuck in isolation, you need to make the best of it and learn to master virtual dates. From where to have the date, to what to do if you are shy, to some major fails you can find how to have great virtual date with all the dos and don’ts here.
From being too fussy, to social media faux pas, boring dates and snap judgements the combination of contributing factors could be keeping you single without you realising. It’s time to shake up your old patterns and get in touch with the new normal of dating during covid.
How does your dating profile measure up? Find out HERE.
WISHING YOU LOVE, ALWAYS,
Louanne Ward x
Subscribe to the list to get the latest blogs, tips, videos and more.