I’m not talking about a drug addict or a gambler, or an alcoholic or any of the usual forms of addiction I am talking about an addiction which is affecting single people of all ages in Australia.
Love addiction is not a new addiction, neither is sex addiction and a symptom is the serial dater creating a new form of addiction. There are literally, I suspect 1000’s of people with an addiction they don’t realise they have. Online dating allows the addict to have an endless supply of fish in the pond. These are people who love the thrill of the chase, they are masterful at meeting people and find it relatively easy to connect. When someone is addicted they cannot stay off the apps, they enter into relationships often which traditionally don’t last more than a few weeks. The adrenalin rush of the chase and new sexual experiences releases dopamine and serotonin in the brain, – the feel-good chemical released by drugs, exercise and winning. After the dopamine levels drop the Dating app addict seeks the next rush and can spend years on the cycle leaving the unsuspecting single caught up in the whirlwind confused and broken-hearted. According to Tinder the average user checks apps 11 times per day averaging 77 minutes – that’s a lot of time on just one app. How many others are you using at the same time or searching or checking and what amount of time is spent actually messaging outside of the apps and sites?
In a study conducted by Match.com of over 5,500 people – 1 in 6 said they felt addicted to the process of dating.
There is also Mobile Dating Anxiety Disorder where people are actually getting anxiety from the stress of dating. Checking their phones first thing in the morning with a reply putting them on a high and a no reply sending them on a low. They are constantly checking their phone well into the night. (I’m sure I can find some research as stats on this I certainly hear it every day)
The other major issue is people with social anxiety turning to apps which is making the problem worse treating the symptom not providing a cure. Prescribing a source of instant relief but longer term issues.
Get real, face facts – Are you a dating addict?
The 5 SIGNS:
- You are attached to the outcome of a match, the ego boost feels great but when you get rejected it affects self-esteem. You are on an emotional rollercoaster.
- More time checking messages from strangers online than connecting with people in front of you in reality.
- You have a great date but still, keep searching
- Spend all your spare time on dating rather than pursuing other interests.
- You check your phone first thing in the morning and last thing at night – sometimes on multiple sites.
Some of the clues to look out for:
- Messaging you constantly in a love bombing way but most communications are via text.
- Over-enthusiastic, rushing things, overpromising.
- The chase is exciting and they pay so much attention claiming you are the one they’ve been searching for before you’ve even met.
- Staying on the apps and sites even though they are confessing feelings for you.
- They pull the rug without warning saying things are moving too fast, they aren’t sure what they want even though they set the pace.
Have you ever encountered a dating addict or are you one?
Comment below your experiences!
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WISHING YOU LOVE, ALWAYS,
Louanne Ward x
