Have you ever felt like giving up on love? I think it’s safe to say if you’re reading this, there have almost certainly been times when it all seemed too hard.
In the world of matchmaking, every once in a while, a story emerges that not only redefines love but also reshapes the very essence of those involved.
This is such a story… Stay to the end the treasure is hidden there.
In 2002 Clarissa, in her early 30s, sought my help to meet her match. She was the embodiment of what many would see as ‘having it all’—smart, beautiful, and with a lively spirit. Our partnership in the quest for her love story quickly blossomed into a genuine friendship, a beautiful perk of my profession is the friends I have made along the way.
Clarissa’s dilemma was one I’d seen often: the men she met never quite matched up to the lofty ideal partner she had envisioned.
It wasn’t until I introduced her to William that I thought we’d broken the pattern. William was a dream come to life—sophisticated, an English gentleman through and through, with a disarmingly handsome appearance. Their connection was instant, a rare chemical reaction that promised the start of something special. Yet, three months down the line, Clarissa’s insecurities and past traumas sabotaged what could have been a beautiful love story.
Witnessing Clarissa’s heartbreak, I felt a profound sense of responsibility. Our friendship meant her pain was mine to share.
Years passed, and Clarissa’s search for love continued, fraught with disappointment and disillusionment. Eventually, she decided her best chance at love lay far from Perth, prompting a bold move overseas.
It was a departure that left me reflecting on my role as a matchmaker. I realised that creating opportunities for love was often like applying a bandaid to a broken leg—a temporary fix that didn’t address deeper issues.
During this time, as I focused on family, including the birth of my second child, I made the decision that when I returned to work, I would begin studying the psychology behind human behaviour. Determined not to feel so powerless in helping others when they begin to self-destruct.
Meanwhile, Clarissa found peace in Europe. Immersed in a new life, she began to let go of the parental expectations and childhood traumas that had weighed her down. She began to live for herself, addressing the wounds of her past and embracing life for what it was, not comparing it to what she hoped it be.
Then, a visit back to Perth some 10 years later changed everything.
A spontaneous decision to break the monotony of business she decided it might be nice to go on a date. So, with a few right swipes, she matched with Chris a man who defied every preconceived notion she held about her ‘type.’
Dressed impeccably for their first meeting, Chris was a revelation. Their first date extended into a day-long adventure, and what was meant to be a two-week stay turned into the beginning of the rest of their lives.
Within 9 weeks, they were engaged, embarking on a long-distance romance that culminated in a move to Dubai and marriage a year later just before her 49th birthday.
Reconnecting with Clarissa and Chris, I was struck by the profound impact of our association.
In a heartfelt conversation, Clarissa shared how my influence had been a guiding light, allowing her to see Chris for the wonderful man he is beyond the superficial criteria that once guided her choices.
My advice rang in her ear: “Did you have a good time? Then do it again! You aren’t dating to find everything wrong with a person; you are dating to open your heart to possibilities.”
Clarissa credited me with her newfound ability to see beyond the surface, to recognise the essence of a person’s spirit—a lesson she applied in her life with Chris.
But the truth is, Clarissa’s story was as transformative for me as it was for her.
Feeling powerless after her departure, I was compelled to seek a deeper understanding of love and connection. I ventured back into the world of study, a domain I had previously shunned, for fear of failure, the belief I wasn’t smart enough, a result of childhood pains.
I am driven by a newfound purpose to truly make a difference. Through studying, I discovered tools and methods that allow me to help others navigate their paths to love more effectively.
Our recent reunion was a celebration of growth, love, and the unexpected paths life takes us on.
Reflecting on our experiences, I’m drawn to the lessons from one of my favourite books “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho, a profound story about, a young shepherd boy on a quest to find a worldly treasure. His journey takes him far from home, only to discover that the real treasure—the knowledge of his heart, his dreams, and the realisation that his quest was always meant to lead him inward—was buried in his own backyard all along. His journey led him back to where he started.
This story beautifully parallels not just Clarissa’s journey and mine but potentially yours as well.
It teaches us that while we may seek love or fulfilment in external places or people, the true journey begins within our own hearts. Our own transformation and the ability to see past our blind spots are the real treasures that make finding true love possible.
Clarissa found her treasure in Chris right back where she started in Perth when she let go of preconceived notions and opened her heart to the possibilities before her.
Now for some TOUGH love….
If you’ve been considering matchmaking and think my assistance might be what you need, know that I’m ready to walk this path with you. HOWEVER, don’t come to me expecting that I’ll be the magic solution if you’re not prepared to confront and release what’s been holding you back.
Identifying and working through these blocks is a crucial step on your journey to love.
Likewise, if you find yourself unsure about what these blocks might be but are eager to discover and move past them, I’m here to help.
But, regardless of your next steps, DO SOMETHING. Every person you meet, and every date you go on, is more than just a search for love; it’s an opportunity for growth, connection, and transforming not just your own life but those around you.
