From symmetrical faces to beards and ambiguous attraction, historical and modern studies of sexual attraction have left many of us wondering what really makes someone appealing?
Often we believe it comes down to personal preference, but there are some fundamental, biological, scientifically-proven traits that boost sex appeal, and none of us are immune to them. So what are they? Are men and women different? And what even defines sex appeal in modern dating?
What is sex appeal?
Ask Merriam-Webster and they’ll tell you sex appeal is defined as “stimulating attraction” or the personal and physical appeal of a member of the opposite (or same) sex. Ultimately, it’s a unique full-body experience that goes beyond butterflies. It’s a uniquely primal desire for someone’s sexual touch – it’s a particular chemistry and tension that renders them irresistible.
What’s fascinating is that the masculine and feminine energy we radiate strongly impacts our sex appeal, and there’s a big difference between men and women when it comes down to it.
The difference between men and women sex appeal
When we talk about what makes men and women different beyond the obvious, we immediately think of the two hallmark hormones: testosterone and oestrogen. These play a significant role in levels of sex appeal, for example, a man with low stress and high testosterone levels is likely to be more sexually attractive Meanwhile, other studies have revealed a woman with an ‘attractive voice’ typically loses her virginity earlier, while her menstrual cycle plays a crucial role in sexual desire too. From scent to immunity, our biological predispositions often make sex appeal uncontrollable and unconscious. It may be modern dating, but these facts prove sex appeal continues to occur at the intersection of divine feminine energy and strong masculinity. You do not have to be outwardly beautiful to have sex appeal, in fact how you attact a man has as much to do with inner beauty as it does your outer beauty.
5 tips for women
How to be more attractive and raise your sex appeal
1. Know your best assets and work what your mother gave you
It’s no secret men are visual (and women are auditory) – biologically and socially. But that doesn’t mean you have to have it all out on show to be sexually appealing.. Instead, do the best with your natural assets, show off your favourite parts of yourself, and wear clothes that flatter your body. Whether it’s extra mascara to bring out your beautiful eyes or a stunning dress that hugs you in all the right places, remember less is always more, and going over-the-top can have the opposite effect. You do not have to be outwardly beautiful to have sex appeal, in fact how you attact a man has as much to do with inner beauty as it outer beauty
2. Pay attention to your body language
Beyond traditional body language, your presence in a room is a classic determinant of your sexual appeal. From the energy you bring to the mystery you exude, the way you enter a space, and the seductive nature of the way you hold yourself makes you ever-alluring to a potential partner. The best way to do this is to slow everything down, avoid erratic or nervous movements and take your time as you greet and converse. Making selective eye contact, and holding a gaze his a great way to action this tip.
3. Keep a positive attitude
You do not have to be outwardly beautiful to have sex appeal, in fact how you attact a man has as much to do with inner beauty as it outer beauty
Before a man approaches you, he’ll observe the way you hold yourself, the way you act, and the way you do so with others. He’ll form a perception of your character based on your facial expressions and general demeanor. This means if you’re constantly frowning he’s likely to find you unattractive or unapproachable. In contrast, if you’re smiling, laughing, and having fun, your sexual appeal and likelihood of being approached significantly increases.
4. Be in touch with your feminine energy
The more feminine energy you radiate, the more sexually attractive you are. Since this attribute is expressed in the creative centre of the brain, stimulate it by integrating hobbies into your daily life that have no rules or boundaries. Things like cooking, dancing, music, fluid movement like yoga, and even painting or writing. Something as simple as listening, singing, and moving along to your favourite music before a date can boost your sex appeal substantially.
5. You’ve got to give to receive
It turns out ‘nice’ is sexy, because being selfless and helpful is scientifically proven to increase your sexual desirability. While the adage ‘treat them mean, keep them keen’ may rule in the short-term fling game, if you’re looking for lasting sexual connection, being kind, invested in your partner’s life and even offering to pay can dramatically improve your sex appeal.
5 tips for men
Using your masculine side to raise sex appeal
1. Confidence over cockiness
A man with confidence owns the room. A man with cockiness turns off everyone in it. Being flamboyant, engaging in over-the-top laughing, and constantly vying for all the attention won’t bode well if you’re looking to improve your sex appeal. Rather, command your masculinity with subtlety.
2. Emotional intelligence is sexy
Knowing the right things to say, making her feel like she’s ‘different’ from the rest, being a conversationalist. These elements of social and emotional intelligence are a strong turn on for women. Holding a conversation that is equal and allows both parties the chance to share and ask questions, to feel interesting and intriguing forms an intimate bond beyond the physical attraction. This ultimately results in a stronger sexual connection, too.
3. Look good, smell good and take care of your personal hygene
We know men and women naturally emit pheromones, and those with elevated levels typically enjoy a more interesting sex life. But it’s not just underlying scents that matter when improving sex appeal. Your choice of cologne and general appearance is all-important, but you don’t need to be a Calvin Klein model to succeed. Simply putting effort into enhancing what you already have and showing you care for your appearance is all you need to enjoy a stronger sex appeal.
4. Mind your manners and a little humour
When asked the most attractive personality traits in men, among the top votes from single women were humour, loyalty, honesty and manners. Being unafraid to laugh at yourself, be playful and not take yourself too seriously make you more open and therefore more attractive. Women appreciate a man who owns his unique identity and personality, and in turn, they’re far more likely to want to spend more time with him.
5. Be self aware and take the lead
While women thrive in their independence, a man being firm and taking control of particular situations can be very sexually alluring. Being accountable for your actions and knowing your values. If you are chilvourous be who you are, take the lead where it is natural for you from opening the door and ordering the first round of drinks to planning the next date, being forward but not overbearing is a proven way to boost sexual appeal for single men.
Whether you’re newly single and just starting on your dating journey or looking for a relationship paying attention to your body language and understanding how to tap into your feminine energy for women, to smelling as good as you look and taking control as a man, sexual appeal can flow in many ways.
Tune into your social, emotional, physical, and intellectual sexuality and see how you can effortlessly improve your sex appeal.
