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Raise Your Sex Appeal: 5 Mistakes That Lower It and 10 Tips to Improve It

November 20, 2021 admin

What is sex appeal, how important is it, and how does yours measure up? Find out in this comprehensive breakdown of the five mistakes that lower sex appeal, and the ten techniques to improve it. 


It’s all to say the way we interpret and exude sex appeal is quite subjective, but there are a few determining, universal factors we can all learn from. It isn’t about your genetic attractiveness it goes beyond your looks. So, whether you think you’re already the king or queen of sexual attraction or think your approach could do with some work…How does your sex appeal measure up? Is the lack of awareness what’s holding you back from a deep connection?


Understand in simple terms:

  • What is sex appeal?
  • Is sex appeal important?
  • What lowers your sex appeal?
  • What improves sex appeal?


So, you can effortlessly:

  • Leave a lasting impression
  • Own and improve your sex appeal
  • Discover your partner’s sex appeal
  • Stop making common mistakes



The science of sex appeal dictates it rests on five key characteristics, including your: 

  • Facial composition
  • Life stability
  • Kissing technique
  • Voice
  • And smell

Beyond these well-known features, some lesser-known traits can be classified as sex appeal. 

Appearance is static – aside from surgery, we’re mostly stuck with the looks we were born with. But interestingly, it can also be dynamic. Even those who are not conventionally good-looking can appeal to us simply in the way they express themselves. Body language has a direct correlation with charisma, and showing positive physical indicators like a smile, bright disposition, expressive eyes or friendly voice can significantly determine one’s sex appeal. 

Similarly, putting effort into one’s appearance and ‘working with what you’ve got’ can influence sex appeal. From good style and flattering clothing for your shape to a well-suited hairstyle and clean-cut appearance, the way you present yourself is an integral part of sexual attraction. 

Additionally, the right time and place have a lot of bearing on sex appeal. The time and activities experienced together can induce feelings of excitement and arousal that boost attraction to our partner.




Some might say sexual chemistry is the be-all and end-all – if it’s not there in the beginning, the relationship is doomed to fail. Others might argue it can be developed over time. While a certain level of attraction is necessary for the beginning stages of a relationship, sex appeal, at first sight, isn’t critical for relationship success. 

This study found when you first meet your partner, there’s likely to be some initial attraction – known as ‘mate value’. However, as the relationship progresses and you share more experiences, their ‘unique value’ develops and overtakes this initial attraction for a more sustainable connection. All to say, as you get to know each other, your emotional and sexual chemistry will increase. 

When a relationship is sexually charged from the beginning, it can be difficult to sustain – leading to rifts and lack of potential later down the track. That’s scientific proof there doesn’t need to be ‘fireworks’ to make the person worth pursuing. Give the person time to show their true colours, overcome some initial nerves and let things grow organically without the pressure to make this person ‘the one’. 




It’ll come as no surprise men place more weight on a physical spark than women. Males often care more about their partner’s sex appeal because they rely on a strong physical connection to maintain a strong emotional one.  Comparatively, the majority of women will easily lose any sexual desire in the wake of an argument or conflict in the relationship. That said, a level of sex appeal remains important for both genders, and in most cases is a pillar of a healthy, intimate relationship. 




Opposites really do attract, as sex appeal is higher the more opposed two partner’s sexual energies are. If both partners lean towards masculine or feminine polarities, sex appeal is often diminished – meaning physical attraction and intimate chemistry rely on distinct masculine and feminine energies to thrive. 


For more on how men and women can hone into their masculine and feminine energy,  download this FREE eBook: Own your energy: How men and women can channel their feminine energy to have healthier relationships.




1. Lack of sleep

Sleep deprivation can be blamed for many reasons we appear less attractive. Not only does it dull our skin and decrease our energy, but it’s also been proven to decrease the appearance of our general attractiveness, health, and emotion. 


2. Negative attitude

Mean girls (and guys) finish last. While they’re often portrayed as the ‘intimidatingly attractive’ one in Hollywood, a prospective partner with a nasty disposition is likely to have lower sex appeal. The kinder and more approachable you seem, the more likely you are to be attractive to your partner or date. 


3. Playing mind games

Treating them mean and keep them keen doesn’t do anything to raise your appeal. Just as playing games, going hot and cold, manipulating tactics, and sending mixed signals will also erode your appeal.


4. Sloppy posture
Stand up straight, walk with confidence and sit with open body language. Slouched shoulders lower your sex appeal, head and chin up and shoulders back!


5. Stress and complaining
When you are stressed or complaining you give off negative energy which repels peoples




1. Taking 1 hour to put make up on to go for Sunday breakfast

Lack of confidence or spontaneity or the ability to be comfortable in your own skin naturally.


2. Saying “I don’t need a man”

Men know you are capable of survival they just don’t appreciate hearing they have little purpose in your life, it throws you into masculine energy.


3. Too much eagerness texting too frequently

Being too eager and initiating the communication expecting instant replies. Having expectations men text as frequently as women and if they don’t they aren’t into you.


4. Being over-sensitive and crying as a strategy

Not having control of your emotions in general, quick to overreact with anger or aggression or turning on the tears to get attention. No composure is not sexy.


5. Saying “You could be an axe murderer or a rapist, for all I know”
You might be saying it in jest to tell a man you are conscious of your safety but this comment triggers defensiveness in men as if all men are the same and are not to be trusted. Choice of words delivered in a classy way supersedes a bad attempt at humour.




1. Bitching about an ex or other women,
Going into detail about how they did you wrong or turned the children against you. Putting down other women.


2. Constantly talking about yourself without asking questions.
Showing no interest in what a woman has to say. Men who do this slip into feminine energy as talking is feminine and listening is masculine. You rob yourself of masculinity.  


3. Setting up a date via a text message.
Not making an effort to call. Bad spelling and grammar whilst texting and not confirming the date in advance.


4. Telling women it’s easier for them than it is for a man.
Implying women don’t have to work as hard as men saying things like “the justice system favours women” or “you don’t understand because you’re a woman”. These comments show underlying insecurities of victim mentality.


5. Not making an equal effort in presentation
Looking good isn’t just about what you wear, having some personal style wearing clothes that are out of date, daggy or don’t fit properly. Taking care of hair management down below, on the face, nose and ears and poor general personal hygiene. It’s lowering your appeal across the board.  



1. Social and personal confidence. The ability to strike up a conversation, speak your mind and be comfortable in your own skin without seeking approval. 


2. Slow down your movements, make an entrance by slowly walking not rushing, keep your shoulders back and your head held high. 


3. Smile and keep eye contact for slightly longer.


4. Smell as good as you look.


3. Be attentive to other people’s needs, fill their glass, ask questions and listen without interrupting.


4. Owning your sexuality with the ability to discuss what turns you on or off in the bedroom.


5. Dress for your body shape and pay attention to small details.


6. Give genuine compliments. 


7. Learn how to kiss masterfully.


8. Show your vulnerable side by asking for help or being honest about a challenge.



Refresh your dating life with a Date Coaching experience!

Work with love and matchmaking expert, Louanne Ward to master the art of attraction with anyone, anywhere for unforgettable dating experiences that transform first dates into fulfilling relationships.



Louanne Ward  x


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