5 reasons why singles are unlikely to find a partner this Valentine’s Day, and the bright side of what to do instead.
February.
The season of love… right?
The second month of the year has always been dubbed a time to connect with old flames, start new flings and reignite existing ones. But is it all it’s cracked up to be?
Turns out, Valentine’s Day for single people isn’t all conversation hearts and red roses. While it may seem to offer a world of opportunity to meet someone new, the flow-on effects from Breakup Season says otherwise.
Over the Christmas and New Year period, many loved up couples reevaluate their futures, resulting in more breakups than any other time of year. Following this, Pickup Season kicks off, where existing and newly single people look to couple up before February 14. With a whole lot of competition, festive spirit, and New Year’s motivation in tow, they begin their hunt for the perfect partner.
But before you join them, consider these five reasons why it may not be the best time to find one…
Tips for being single on Valentine’s day
5 Great reasons you shouldn’t look for love on Valentine’s Day
- Too much pressure
“When are you going to settle down?”
“You’re such a catch – why haven’t you found someone yet?”
So you’ve just spent 2020 (thanks Coronavirus), Christmas and New Year alone, being grilled by every relative as to why you’ve shown up single once again. When the festive season is over, it’s time to prove them all wrong by getting out there and being a serial dater desperate for validation. Maybe it works and you meet someone you’re absolutely head over heels for. Maybe you have a few quick flings here and there. But then again, maybe it doesn’t.
Soon enough, your self-esteem has crashed once again, impacting all facets of your life. This yo-yo behaviour can be detrimental to your mental health, leading to emotional exhaustion, anxiety, and even depression. Instead of placing pressure on yourself to ‘prove them wrong’ or find someone by the Valentine’s deadline, preserve your sanity.
- Scammers are out to play
While it may be the most romantic time of year, Valentine’s Day is a favourite for scammers targeting vulnerable singles. When you’ve just spent the holiday season presumably surrounded by loved-up friends and family, awareness of what you’re without is heightened. When you’re more aware of your singlehood, you’re more willing to try anything to remedy it. Online dating. Apps. Blind dates. But research has revealed those remedies are costly when they go wrong, with up to 4000 dating and romance scams circulating last year, and losses of over $28 million in Australia alone.
Even more concerningly, Valentine’s dating scams aren’t limited to the elderly or wealthy. No matter your age, income, gender, or culture, it’s your emotional state these people target. Therefore, you need to remain on high alert and if it seems too good to be true, it usually is (and if someone you’ve never met asks for money – don’t send it).
- You’re limiting your chances
When you’re focusing on the quick rebound, the new flame, and the latest match, you’re limiting your overall chance to connect with the right person. Good things take time and rushing into a relationship that’s not right for you means you’re settling for the sake of your self-esteem.
Relationships are a massive investment of time, emotion, and commitment. Wasting time enjoying the attention of someone you know you don’t want a future with means you’re missing out on building the one you do want with the right person. Instead of rushing in and settling, take your time and trust in the process.
- Unrealistic expectations
Additionally, if you do find the right person and are in a rush to make it official before the big day, you’re rushing the process and likely to scare them off. Rather, focus on nurturing your connection, letting go of comparing yourself to other couples, and leaving questions of exclusivity until it feels right. This gives the relationship the best chance at succeeding well beyond February 14.
- More competition
Instead of joining the rush and getting on every app under the sun, focusing on getting out with friends, spending time with family, and investing time in a few, quality matches is a far more successful approach. Consider: are meaningless chocolates and flowers really worth the hassle of competing with thousands for the attention of someone you barely know?
What to do when you’re single on Valentine’s Day
Perhaps you’ve resigned yourself to the fact Valentine’s Day may not be your lucky day to find love. So, what can you do instead to actually enjoy the lead up to February 14, regardless of your relationship status?
- Stay off social media
- People complaining about being single, or
- People bragging about being loved up
- Just ‘be’
- Give to others
- Consider your ‘happy’
- Optimism over pessimism
Conversation hearts. Roses. Giant teddy bears.
Valentine’s Day can be a fairytale for the loved up, and a nightmare for the single. Scams, timelines and competition can make it difficult for men and women facing the prospect of being alone on February 14, but it doesn’t have to be. By focusing on the positives, prioritising your mental health and staying away from socials, you can head into the season of love in the best shape of your life (and ready to meet the right person for you, whenever that may be).
To contribute to more discussions about Valentine’s Day 2021, join the She Said He Said Facebook group!