What makes a great date? How to find the right match? How to have fun and enjoy dating.
Dating is easier for some than it is for others but whatever outcome you are hoping for you can improve the quality of your dating life using emotional intelligence.
There is nothing wrong with having high standards when it comes to your love lives. You have your own wish list, deal breakers and non-negotiables that can either make or break a potential match. You may have become a master at finding potential people to date and initiating the approach but somehow the process of dating just feels like a routine of the same date with different people.
Research has shown emotionally intelligent people have healthier, quality, happier relationships, more opportunities in their career and often feel more content in life. Here’s how to use emotional intelligence to transform your dating life.
1) Looks may be important but they won’t keep a relationship together. Superficial dating will result in superficial relationships. No matter how much attraction you feel it is never a solid enough foundation to build a relationship on.
2) Nobody measures up to your first love or the holiday romance. The way you felt was real and beautiful in the moment but trying to recreate a past feeling and holding out to feel that way again is cutting yourself off from other new and potentially deeper feeling experiences.
3) People aren’t made to order. If you’re dating trying to follow a recipe requiring all the ingredients before you even attempt to step into the kitchen you are missing out on creating your own masterpiece. Sometimes the simplest things taste the best and feed the soul.
4) Be better than the competition. Like it or not everyone is in the same boat fishing in the same waters. Your Curb side appeal might get buyers through the door but beauty on the inside closes the deal. Dress to impress, bring the best version of yourself to the table but most of all be a kind person, act with empathy and show compassion for the people you are dating.
5) Intimacy and sex are like salt and pepper. They are totally different but complement each other. Rushing sex before having the chance to become intimate with one another can fast track to the end rather than start the beginning. Get to know the person you are sharing your body with.
6) Respecting boundaries just as you have distinguishing points of attraction and separate values to others it’s important to recognise everybody has individual boundaries. Be aware of your boundaries and communicate with foresight paying attention to Digital and social media how much you feel comfortable being shared and how much the devices are used in front of each other, Time how much you have to give or need, Past relationships what you feel comfortable sharing or knowing, Sexual expression no go zones and when the time is right, Managing conflict what you need, how long you take to reset and best form of communication.
The key to mastering emotional intelligence and applying it to your dating life requires self-awareness and self-reflection of your emotions and how they impact you and your dating life. Managing your expectations, being respectful and thoughtful, communicating in a non-defensive manner and positively impacting others are the secret ingredients to dating using your emotional intelligence.
WISHING YOU LOVE, ALWAYS,
Louanne Ward x
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