As many couples plan lunch with the in-laws and don matching festive shirts this December, for some, Christmas 2022 could spell a breakup under the mistletoe instead. From heightened temptations to lowered inhibitions… Louanne Ward shares why this time of year is full of cheating and break ups PLUS a guide on how to overcome the seasonal split.
Forget Christmas cheer, cheating is trending instead.
Single men and women rejoice! There’s at least one reason to celebrate being alone this Christmas, even if it requires taking pleasure in others’ misfortune. Most people enjoy a few festive freedoms like daytime drinking and binge eating however for some, it isn’t enough. They need something new and so most turn to December 11th (official break up day) hoping it’s the answer…
Why are the months leading up to Christmas and New Years the most popular time to end relationships?
The real reason behind Christmas breakups…
From the alluring yet regretful office party hook up to the seemingly harmless holiday flings, Christmas seems to bring out the cheaters. Cheating, with instances of wandering eye syndrome, is common among 57% of people surveyed by Illicit Encounters.
Not every break up is down to cheaters though so why else would people want to call it quits right before the happiest time of the year?
According to a Study conducted by this morning, 10% of couples break up before their first holiday together in attempt to hide their true colors. Christmas is a stressful time, habits are exposed, and moods are unfiltered. Some couples can’t face the pressure of the test and just call it quits instead.
Christmas symbolizes the end of the cycle, it’s a time for winding down and preparing for the year ahead. The spare time allows room for reflection, giving people a chance to assess their habits and goals. Especially as the new year is an opportunity like no other, it’s a chance to start fresh and reinvent yourself to align with your goals. If you aren’t in that alignment, then I have some bad news for you…
Did you know that Christmas is the season for cheaters? Here’s why…
Summer is the season of flings. With the spirit of Christmas in the air, endless beach days and packed social calendars, obviously inhibitions are lower and mistakes will be made. Of course, summer is the perfect time for many singles to find a relationship. But it’s also a time when partnered people find themselves drifting toward temptation as they spend more time at home with their partner. But why is that? Fewer clothes, more heat. Fewer commitments, more parties. Fewer inhibitions, more freedom. These combinations can spell the end for many seemingly loved up couples, and are among the six biggest, scientifically proven, reasons people cheat:
1. Surge in serotonin
Your libido naturally increases with the heat as you spend more time outdoors and in the sun. You can blame Serotonin for this. We become happier, and therefore more in touch with ourselves and our desire for connection. This can lead partners to seek that pleasure in unexplored, often out-of-bounds, places and people.
2. Blinded by boobs and biceps
When it’s hot, we naturally wear less, exposing more skin and leaving less to the imagination. Whether you’re trying to be subtle, modest or divert your eyes, this visual stimulation is undeniable to everyone, even those in relationships.
3. Pheromones fire up
Responsible for our natural desires for touch and connection, men and women’s pheromones become more intense over the summer festivities. These ‘chemical messengers’ from things like sweat have an undeniable physical or emotional effect on the people around you, sparking a primal desire.
4. Vitamin Distracted
During summer, greater exposure to sunlight affect the body’s production of melatonin, the hormone associated with sleep. Melatonin plays a role in testosterone, estrogen and progesterone levels, intensifying sexual hormones and desire for touch. Ultimately, Getting out and partying to the late hours means less sleep and more sex.
5. Teasing tans
More daylight hours, more activities, better weather. It’s a combination that means we’re socialising and exercising more. This naturally leads to increased weight loss and toning, tans and sunkissed bodies. As a result, we feel happier, healthier and more confident. With endorphins flowing, our libido, happiness and energy increases, leading to the greater temptation and lowered boundaries that cause wandering eyes and one night stands.
6. Tiny taste of freedom
Cutting loose is synonymous with summer, even more so after the year that was. We become nostalgic about teenage memories and strive to emulate these in our adult life in the form of lowered thresholds and heightened risk-taking. Except instead of breaking an arm or eating too much sugar, adult cutting loose comes in the form of scandalous holiday romances, flings and a heightened likelihood of regret. It’s also true this lack of responsibility and the smell of freedom makes you happier and therefore more optimistic, open-minded and attractive.
Unbelievable cheating statistics and key warning signs
Christmas is meant to be a time for love and family, but the sinister reality is one-third of men and women will cheat this season. Females are slightly more likely to catch the feels for someone other than their partner.
Heightened temptation as a result of increased socialising, mixed with alcohol makes for a threatening combination, with family conflicts and dysfunctional relationships also contributing factors.
Among the signs your partner may be cheating includes increased arguments, unusual social media activity and off working schedules. The festive season is disruptive to our routines and piles on additional stress and anxiety around family interactions and socialising. Additionally, the financial, physical and emotional stress of the season can cause many to lash out at their partners or seek support and fulfilment in entirely new people. But what about the impact of the pandemic we’re working through?
Will COVID-19 ruin Christmas AGAIN?
Although it seems like covid is something of the past, it may have changed us forever. Thousands of couples didn’t make it through the pandemic and many that did are suffering. The pandemic exposed a different side to people and forever changed the way we socialise etc. 15% of quarantine breakups revealed they discovered unfavorable characteristics within their partner that led to the end of their relationship (Dating.com). The ones that stuck together are also feeling the pressure. In fact, 37% of married men and women reported that the pandemic increased stress in their marriage. (American Family Survey). On top of that, 31% of US citizens believe their marriage has been weaker since the pandemic. (American Family Survey)
This isn’t just limited to the US though…
British law firm Stewarts logged a 122% increase in divorce enquiries between July and October, compared with the same period the year before.
Charity Citizen’s Advice also reported a spike in searches for online advice on ending a relationship. In the US, a major legal contract-creation site recently announced a 34% rise in sales of its basic divorce agreement, with newlyweds who’d got married in the previous five months making up 20% of sales.
The world is preparing for January, also known as divorce month.
Even more reasons behind Christmas breakups
If December is the most popular breakup month it can’t all be cheaters, right? Correct! The Christmas chaos seems to add fuel to all the below fires:
1. Seclusion
Even when surrounded by friends and family that love us at Christmas, we want more. Something new and fresh. We crave the butterflies and excitement of a new person and the attention that brings. Even when in a seemingly happy relationship we can feel lonely, bored and believe the grass could be greener on the other side of the relationship.
2. FOMO
Another symptom of the ‘grass is greener’ syndrome is the Fear of Missing Out – FOMO. When it’s party season, there’s a huge temptation to book out your calendar and go to every event on the list. If your partner isn’t so keen, or you’re constantly going to every event together, it can become taxing. The temptation to go it alone and have a moment of singlehood can be extremely desirable during party season, leading many to decide it’s time to go it alone rather than remaining in the relationship.
3. Walking different paths
Christmas and New Year’s is a time for reflection. We reflect on the past and look to the future, picturing what we want our next year to look like. Additionally, a lot can change in a year, from goals and friends to work and family. When we take stock, sometimes it’s clear that our life plans no longer align with our partner’s. In times like these, it can often be better to part ways, rather than stay in the relationship for security.
How to deal with the Christmas breakup faster than ever
So you’ve been dumped at what’s supposed to be the happiest time of year. Or maybe you’ve been the ‘dumper’. How do you cope and salvage what’s left of the festive season?
1. Purge your phone
Whether you’ve ended it or been on the receiving end, staying in touch serves no one. Rather, unfollow on social media, remove their contact or block where necessary. This is crucial for you both finding closure and moving on.
2. Fill your heart with love, not hate
Even if your heart is broken, don’t bring everyone else down around you. Talk it out where necessary, let out your emotions but don’t begrudge or diminish others’ happiness. Participate in the festivities as this will not only help you take your mind off things but socialise and move on.
3. Find the silver lining
Even if it seems impossible, finding the positives in being newly single this Christmas can help the healing process. In a session with a client, we put pen to paper and found over 110 benefits to being single, from saving money to avoiding awkward in-law small talk.
4. Look after your inner child with the best Christmas ever
Forget the commercial BS, Christmas is all about giving and getting together with those you love. Give your time, your money or even just a smile. These simple gestures can make a world of difference to others while taking your mind off your recent break up. Giving out more love means you’ll receive more, too.
5. Put yourself first
Self-love and self-nurture are essential to overcoming a breakup. Eat well, exercise and fill your space with the things that make you happy. Allow yourself to cry when needed, emotions are fleeting and help you heal quicker than suppressing them.
Breakups are an inevitable part of the Christmas season – one filled with potential cheating, loneliness and FOMO. If you want to call it quits without ruining their Christmas, then you need to take action before December the 6th. Anything past that cancels their Christmas and creates .
COVID-19 could potentially heighten these seasonal factors, but there are simple ways to overcome the difficulty of a festive breakup by prioritising your mental and physical health and spending time with those who mean the most to you. In addition to that, you can completely reset your love life in just 28 days with this 1 simple challenge. What better way to start next year than completely free from your past limitations…
Just imagine what the future holds.
WISHING YOU LOVE, ALWAYS,
Louanne Ward x
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