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Is the Friend Zone Really That Bad?

September 21, 2023 admin

It’s a word that sends shivers down the spines of daters everywhere, right after the spine-chilling ghosting. Yes, you guessed it—it’s the *friend zone*.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. That word alone can conjure up a rollercoaster of emotions, from frustration to confusion and even a dash of despair.

We’ve all been there, haven’t we?

Hearing those words, “You’re great, BUT… I feel more of a friend vibe,” or the infamous, “I don’t feel the romantic spark, but I’m happy to be friends.”

And let’s be real for a moment, shall we? For most of us, being placed in the friendzone feels like the ultimate plot twist in the dating saga.

It can even be more perplexing than the whole “friends with benefits” situation because, well, at least in the latter, there’s some level of attraction, right?

I’m about to share a personal tale that’ll shine a light on why the friend zone isn’t all doom and gloom. So, grab your metaphorical seatbelts because we’re about to embark on a journey through the heartwarming tale.

And hey, as we dive into this story, I want you to think about your own dating experiences. Have you ever been in the friend zone?

How did it feel? Don’t worry; you’re not alone in this adventure.


Now, let’s rewind to the beginning and discover why being in the friend zone might just be the silver lining you never knew you needed…

Picture this: a cozy restaurant, a merry gathering of friends, and in walks Sam. Now, Sam wasn’t your typical guy next door, but not because of striking good looks; he had an air of confidence and charisma that set him apart. Sam’s presence was magnetic, and his introduction was the stuff of legends.

Sam approached our table not a complete stranger; he had a connection to one of my friends through a rather amusing chain of coincidences. With a charming grin and an air of genuine interest, he introduced himself.

His first words? “Oh, it’s such an honour to meet you. I’ve read many of your articles and seen you on TV. I’m a fan of your work.”

Yes, I kid you not. Sam’s opening line was a real showstopper—a line that could’ve been scripted by a romantic comedy screenwriter. And trust me, even though my heart didn’t skip a beat, I was impressed.❞

Naturally, Sam was invited to join us, and he did so with grace and warmth that put everyone at ease. Glasses clinked, laughter echoed, and before I knew it, the evening was adorned with a sparkling connection that could rival the stars. Albeit, it was a one-sided attraction.


The Art of Flirting and Playful Banter

Now, if there’s one thing Sam excelled at, it was the art of flirting and playful banter. As the night wore on, he effortlessly wove witty remarks into our conversations and made sure all 3 ladies at the table were not short of attention, a task which requires some skill.

He had this knack for making you feel like the most interesting person in the room.

The night ended with promises of “See you around!” and a few exchanged glances that held just a hint of something more. To say his interest was piqued would be an understatement.

The Sparkling Messages

The following day, Sam sent me a message after obtaining my number from my friend, and I have to say I was impressed. Being a woman who loves words, Sam was undoubtedly a skilled communicator. Our messages flowed back and forth, each one becoming longer and more impressive.

Over the course of a few days, the messages were laced with compliments and questions, and my responses became more involved. But, here’s where things got a tad tricky. I didn’t want to lead Sam on or give him the wrong impression, as for me there was no romantic interest.

So I started taking my time with my replies, giving short answers, and not encouraging further communication by asking questions or returning compliments.


The Honesty Call

One morning, after two unresponded-to messages, Sam sent a third and asked if he should bow out and not message anymore. I felt awful as not replying is rude, but as I was not interested in a romantic sense, I didn’t want to lead him down a one-way street.

So, I decided the best way to respond was to make a call and just be honest. I have to say I was relieved when it went to voicemail, and I left a kind and clear message. He called me back almost instantly, and this is where things took an interesting turn.

I explained that a romantic relationship wasn’t on the cards. His reply was, “I understand. Maybe I could be your new BFF.” I thought it was kind of sweet, and given he had such good taste in women (wink, wink), how could I refuse?


Becoming Friends: The Slow Build

Sam happened to be working on a contract interstate, which created a comfortable distance in our friendship. There were no “hanging out” moments or awkward moves to navigate. Instead, he would call me every day, and we’d talk about anything and everything—from fashion and travel to food and, of course, everything: love and dating.

Our conversations were filled with laughter, funny tidbits, and a genuine enjoyment of each other’s company. The phone calls turned into FaceTime sessions, and within six weeks, Sam had completely gotten under my skin.

Now, you might be wondering, how did this happen? How did a friendship turn into something more? Well, let’s explore that and 8 compelling reasons why you should never fear the friend zone.


The Beauty of the Friend Zone: Lessons Learned

The romance with Sam grew from a respectful, innocent, and vulnerable space. Thanks to unexpected circumstances, our first real date turned out to be a week-long COVID lockdown (a story for another day, but it’s a good one).

This unique journey taught me invaluable lessons about relationships and the foundation upon which they’re built. So, let’s unwrap the gifts of the friend zone:

1. Realistic Assessment of Compatibility

Without the dazzle of instant attraction, we had a clear view of our compatibility. The focus shifted from appearances to values and shared dreams.


2. Strong Friendship Foundation

 Our bond became as solid as a mighty oak tree, rooted deep. We bared our souls, swapped secrets, and shared our goofiest stories. Trust me, this friendship wasn’t just skin-deep.


3. No Rush, No Pressure

Unlike the rush to the finish line that often accompanies romance, the friend zone provided ample room to breathe. The pressure cooker was replaced with the gentle simmer of a slow-cooked connection.


4. Unfiltered Authenticity

When you’re pals, masks come off, and realness prevails. No more “perfect date” facades or rehearsed lines. Just genuine, unscripted moments that make relationships memorable.


5. Learning from Each Other

Friend zone buddies share a wealth of experiences and viewpoints. Discussions about everything from love to laundry detergent lead to self-discovery and personal growth.


6. Solid Emotional Support

 In the friend zone, you have a trusted ally who’s got your back. The safety net of friendship means someone is there to catch you when life throws curveballs.


7. Time for Reflection

The slow burn of friendship gives you ample time to reflect on your own feelings, aspirations, and intentions. You can navigate your emotions with a clear head.


8. Strong Romantic Foundation

If sparks eventually fly, the foundation is firm as bedrock. Your connection is grounded in a deep understanding and respect for each other.


Embracing the Friend Zone: A Happy Ending

So, my lovelies, before you wave your pitchforks at the friend zone, take a moment to ponder its treasures. The tale of Sam taught me that a genuine connection can spring from unlikely beginnings.

And trust me, the journey to a loving relationship can be worth every quirky, endearing, and even frustrating moment along the way.

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