Like it or not the future of dating is very much in the now – no more relying on things going back to the way they were.
Dating has transitioned from meeting organically IRL at parties, pubs, social events, work, etc to meeting online with the help of technology – we connect online then have a date in person – we’ve now transgressed to a new era of meeting with the help of technology and dating with technology – dating has become a threesome. There is you, me and technology!
The past 10 years we’ve been talking about the effects of technology socially disconnecting people- but there is no disputing it has been a hero rather than villain over the past 18 months.
With that in mind how do we use technology in our love life to our best advantage during the pandemic?
Being stuck in isolation, you need to make the best of it and learn to master virtual dates – this is how.
Virtual Dating Do’s & Don’ts
Don’t have a date from where you work – you’d no sooner have a date in your workplace at your desk so don’t do it from home – your body and muscles have a memory retention “work mode” is different energy, you’re less likely to be your true self.
Do sit on the floor, with so many health benefits, or on your favourite chair, lounge, balcony or place in the garden – avoid your bedroom. Get a stand for your mobile phone so you are relaxed and try to show your whole body.
Don’t be lazy when it comes to what you wear you might be at home relaxed & comfortable on your couch but it is not an excuse to be in your trackie – sitting at your work desk you might get away with being dressed on top and nothing below but on a date you have to put your best foot forward – the physiological effects associated with non verbal communication is reflected in what you wear and can alter your confidence.
Do dress as you would on any date. Make exactly the same effort from head to toe.
Location location location – where you go on a date is as important as every other component, if you get the venue wrong the date can fizzle before it even starts. Look at where you are talking from – record to see what other people see. Don’t have a virtual date with your house in a mess you won’t have a second chance to make a first impression.
Do clean up – show your date you made an effort. Ask your housemates/children to keep the noise down and give you privacy. Nobody likes the feeling of competing for attention or potentially hearing your conversation.
Don’t just limit your date to conversation – it’s hard for many people to talk in a virtual world for long periods, make dates visual and exciting rather than a rinse and repeat experience.
Do think of creative ways to share positive dating experiences. Check out virtual tours through art galleries, nature reserves, zoos, museums – you can take the tours together, chat along the way and find more common ground.
Don’t spend the whole time talking about negative covid related doom and gloom. That goes for any negative stuff in your life – including your ex and work. Remember it’s a date not a counselling session.
Do Keep dates light, they should be a fun and uplifting experience. Be mindful of what you share.
Don’t use filters -we’ve all spent enough time on zoom to know when someone’s using a filter. Although the beauty filter and bunny ears may sound tempting, they’re easy to spot and can make you look disingenuous.
Do position yourself in flattering light or invest in a ring light. It makes all the difference and showcases the real you!
And 4 more little don’ts
Don’t eat while on a virtual date.
Don’t pass wind (we can hear you).
Don’t leave your earbuds in when you take a loo break.
Don’t get intoxicated.
WISHING YOU LOVE, ALWAYS,
Louanne Ward x
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