We’ve had red flags, amber, flags, and green flags. But have you heard of beige flags? The younger sibling of red flags, if you’re beige you’ve been labelled unexciting, boring, generic and uninspiring. Which in effect is a red flag for modern daters.
Examples of being a “beige flag” include obsessing over pineapple on pizza (because you think it makes you edgy), references to mainstream opinions where you sit on the fence, playing it safe by people pleasing and basically having no interesting personality traits. (According to others)
Beige flags cover any unoriginal content that we see time and time again across people’s dating profiles and on dates. It’s sort of a mix between being bland and giving your date ‘the ick’, neither of which helps you connect with someone.
How did we get here?
Beige flags are the combination of dating fatigue, unfulfilled expectations and yes I hate to say it but judgment. People are fed up with “Dating to date” and no longer want to waste an evening sitting opposite someone they aren’t compatible with. Meaning people’s standards are going up, their deserve level is going up and they want a partner to meet their needs from the get-go. It’s time to lift your game. Not for others, this is a “you thing”. If your dating life isn’t what you want it to be and you are attracting the wrong people it’s time for some self-reflection.
Are you being labelled a beige flag and not aware of what your dates really think?
Breaking the beige flag label
Instead of trying to modify yourself to fit in it’s time to learn the most important factor of dating that transforms anyone from being beige to a kaleidoscope of colour….. The art of conversation and connection.
Three Ways to upgrade your dating profile
- Who are you really? Use photos that represent who you truly are not who you are trying to be.
- Embrace your personality if you attempt to play it safe, people will be unsure about how original and fun you will be in real
life. - Make your profile a unique story, not a shopping list – nobody really cares that you love cats, red wine, and walks on the
beach. Write a profile that is honest, from the heart and shows your personality.
Don’t know how to do it? Here’s an example of a profile bio:
About me
If you’re looking for someone who is the life of the party and likes to be the centre of attention I’m not the one for you! ….I am a happy listener however, if we start discussing how to look after health, wealth and the planet, just know that I can talk for days…
I have a guilty pleasure for creature comforts but only once I’ve earned them. I’d much rather have a quiet night of quality home cooked food, good company, shared conversation and intimacy than loud crowded events.
Despite not loving big crowds, I do crave the sunshine, being outdoors and don’t take myself too seriously. Plus when someone means something to me I find time to prioritse them and enjoy shared interests.
I’m self aware and open to others opinions but leave your superficiality at the door…
What I’m looking for….
Someone who is open to exploring the benefits of commitment to one person rather than dating many. I admire people who respect themselves enough to look after their health and can take ownership of their life and mistakes (I don’t need perfection I need maturity and accountability), I am all for equality but believe men and women have different strengths and weaknesses. We should work together, support each others needs, have fun, make plans, create space to be who we are and not compete with each other. >>> Get help writing your bio?
5 hacks used by dating Gurus to fast track the dating process
- Keep your messages short and lighthearted
- Don’t try to get to know someone over a text message by asking standard questions.
- Embrace your personality If you try to play it safe, people will be unsure about how original and fun you will be in real life. At the end of the day, everyone wants to find an interesting partner.
- Don’t try to be something you’re not in order to make someone else interested in you.
- Ask for what you want
EG after a few text messages …
Would you be against having a chat on the phone to make sure we share some things in common before we invest a week of texting?
Once you are on the date
- Avoid asking standard first-date questions
- Speak your mind
- Don’t play games
- Laugh and be playful
Most importantly learn how to ask open-ended questions which spark conversation, download The Best Open ended questions to ask on a date.
Have you been dating for a while and not getting anywhere? Is it you or is it them? Dating is hard enough but facing reality and taking a look under the hood from time to time is important. What needs tuning up?
4 tips to remember
- Grow from the experience of dating and fix things you don’t like about yourself before asking others to accept them. Why would you expect someone to accept something you don’t even like yourself?
- When you’re on your next date, make sure to ask open ended questions that drive a conversation…need help? Click here for my free download.
- Don’t try to make yourself sound more interesting. Just be who you are, tell it like it is, and the right people will gravitate towards you.
- Other people’s opinions aren’t relevant. It’s not your job to appease, entertain, or edit yourself to keep the date alive. If you’re worried your date thinks you’re boring it could be a sign that they expect a partner to come along and make their life more interesting. It might be them not you.
WISHING YOU LOVE, ALWAYS,
Louanne Ward x
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