Why heartbreak is good for you
It’s almost impossible to go through life without suffering the pain of heartbreak.
On a scale of 1-agony it tips in at a hard “absolutely dreadful”. Unless you are a machine, bot, or live solo on an island you’ll be faced with the challenge of getting over heartbreak undoubtedly multiple times in life.
There is a way to get over heartbreak and never fear the feelings. In order to get over a heartbreak you first have to look at the whole picture and understand even though the pain is real, a broken heart has so many life benefits. In fact, once you understand the 10 benefits of heartbreak and why it is good for you not only do you heal faster you take control of your emotions and increase emotional intelligence.
10 benefits of heartbreak
Take time to look at heartbreak from a different perspective with the positive effects then follow the 7 steps to healing.
1. It builds your resilience
Working through pain requires survival instincts, knowing you are working towards the goal of bouncing back shows you are strong.
2. Most likely time you will seek out professional help
Being vulnerable and looking for solutions to overcome the pain is the most likely time you’ll look outside of yourself for deeper answers. A psychologist, councillor or professional relationship coach can help you deal with the trauma and get ready for love. Take the quiz.
3. Gives you hope
Awareness of the negative aspects of the relationship causes you to reflect, dissect and run over in your mind when what wrong so you can learn the lesson and move on to better days.
4. Improves other relationships
Makes you aware of your inner weaknesses and how important it is to be accepted within our social groups. Psychologists note the loss of social connection activates the pain response of being rejected by social peers triggering social pain.
5. Increases your self-confidence
Whenever we achieve a goal or survive a hardship, it raises our self-esteem. The more self-esteem you have the more confident you become in your ability to push through pain.
6. Makes you wise
You can learn and be taught most skills but nothing beats experience. Wisdom is found on the battlefields, not in the books.
7. Boosts your EQ (emotional intelligence)
When you have experienced the darkness and despair knowing what you went through it awakens your compassion and empathy for others. Empathy is a key component of emotional intelligence and vital for maintaining successful relationships.
8. Leads to successful outcomes
While you are going through heartbreak you tend to put energy and focus into other goals and new pursuits rather than into the relationship.
9. Protects you from unrewarding relationships
Heartbreak drives you away from people who aren’t supposed to be in your life, who are no longer serving your best interests. Being set free from someone who doesn’t see your value redirects your path to connecting with someone who does see your value.
10. Teaches you what is important
Whatever led you to experience the feeling of a broken heart teaches you how you feel about relationships and how important they are in your life. It helps you greater understand the aspects of a partner which are truly important.
7 steps to getting over heartbreak… Fast!
Heartbreaks are a form of grief just the same as any other loss. You don’t have to be stuck in the downward spiral use the steps below and clear the past so you can learn to love your future.
1. Understand the stages of grief
Break ups are a form of grief and you will likely experience 5 stages of grief denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Most people experience them in order. Understanding grief can help you work through the stages.
2. Feel your feelings
Allow yourself to cry, feel your feelings emotional shock is traumatic. Feelings are there for a reason and by releasing them it can assist in healing faster.
3. Cut off communication
The feel good feelings and release of happy Chemicals you were getting From your partner You are no longer getting. withdrawal symptoms From the loss of the feel good hormones is similar physiologically to any withdrawal symptoms. Staying connected with regular communication can prolong the healing process.
4. Set up a support system
It’s important that you have a few people in your life that can offer you support for what you’re going through. Equally important is Not just using the support system to recap the negatives of the heartbreak your support system Is a great way to escape the heartbreak and surround yourself with more positive energies.
5. Move your body
It might be the last thing you feel like doing but the endorphins. Produced during exercise help withdrawal symptoms from the missing happy hormones used to get from your partner
6. Ask yourself quality questions
The quality of your life is often determined by the quality questions you ask yourself. Rejection can trigger unhealthy responses like over eating and eating substance-abuse and rebound relationships which can all add to the problem. By asking yourself what do I need right now? Is what I’m doing helpful or hurtful? What can I do as an alternative? Keep seeking self governance by staying connected to your coping choices.
7. Allow yourself time
Everybody heals In varying timeframes try not to compare yourself to others or allow others to tell you how much time you should take. Remember there’s no such thing as grief without relief setting aside time every day to allow yourself to grieve and sticking to the allocated time can help you manage your emotions and heal with more control.
Bonus tip: Say yes to new opportunities
Say yes to new opportunities. Heartbreak isn’t easy but going it alone and locking yourself away can diminish your self-worth, every time you step outside of your comfort zone, say yes, smile and put on a brave face you’re actually aiding your healing process and moving forward in life rather than staying stuck in the past.
Use heartbreak to heal your past pain so you can learn to love your future.
WISHING YOU LOVE, ALWAYS,
Louanne Ward x
PS If you are stuck in the rejection and heartbreak book your free 30 minute coaching session HERE.
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