Often, when I bring you these video tips they are based on experiences I or my clients might have had during the week which sparks an area of interest to share with you. I give you these tips to help inspire you to have better connections and better relationships with people and this week is no different.
I recently went to Sydney for a couple of weeks to attend workshops with Dr John Demartini, a renowned personal and professional development coach. I got on the plane with my potentially quite overweight piece of hand luggage and went to pop it into the overhead storage. Chivalrously, the guy sitting in the seat beside me offered to do it for me. I laughingly replied that it is better that he hurt his neck than I hurt mine! I noticed he was wearing a great shirt and I told him so. He replied that it was his favourite and that he had not been complimented on it before.
The course went on for many 12-15 hour days. With this amount of hours let me assure you, a morning coffee is essential. One morning, with only a few minutes left to get to class, I was standing in line for a coffee and talking to a fellow course member about how much I needed this coffee when the guy in front of me tells me that he is not in a rush and offers to let me go before him. I thought that was such a lovely thing for him to do.
As with the need for coffee, lunch is also important. We are given one hour and you know that if you don’t eat in that time you are not going to eat for 6 hours and you haven’t eaten for 6 hours before so it’s a really important hour! One day during the course, I went out to get lunch and was so I cold that I popped into David Jones to buy an extra top. The men’s wear and the women’s wear are on opposite sides of the road and you have to go through a mall to get to the women’s side. After buying my shirt, I exit the store from a side that I hadn’t entered from. Anyone who knows me knows that it doesn’t take long or much for me to get lost and that even going around a roundabout is challenging enough! I know that I am in the general vicinity and can’t be too far away and decide to turn left. After a few minutes walking I realise that I cannot be heading in the right direction and stopped to ask a man sitting on a bench for directions. He did not know but consulted Google Maps on his phone and offered to walk me there. So we walked and chatted and under different circumstances I might have asked him to join me for a drink as a thank you for delivering me safely to my destination in one piece and on time. Unfortunately, however I had not got the sushi I had gone out to get and therefore had no lunch.
Back in class I am asked by a guy I was working with if I had enjoyed my lunch and I relayed the events to him. He told me that he had sushi for lunch and had some left over. He kindly offered it to me which I accepted. I got my lunch.
These events are a reminder of how important chivalry is and how being chivalrous connects you with people. It opens conversation, you get to do something kind for someone, it makes the person feel good and it makes you feel good.
So gentlemen, don’t forget to be chivalrous because every time you are, you get to talk to a female! Whether it’s with someone that you are not interested in romantically or it’s someone you are involved with in a relationship, there is mutual benefit to both parties.
During my training, I was talking to a lady and we were practicing on each other and when I told her what I did she asked me what one bit of advice I would give someone to help improve their relationship. I told her to try and compliment her man as often as she can. She came back to me a couple of days later and told me that she had practiced what I had suggested and that she felt it had really improved the way they connected and had been having a lot of sex too!
Connecting with people does make a difference…
For example, my son recently did a one-day workshop where he was working mostly with people a lot older than himself. During the workshop, he received a lot of great feedback and compliments about his dedication and his manner. This gave him confidence and what that did is inspire him to want to learn more for himself and obviously for others. He gave up his first day of school holidays to study with the coach in a workshop environment. It started at 7am so he had to get up before that and work for 8 hours straight and what inspired him to do that was that he took the compliments which gave him confidence and it made a massive difference.
So ladies, find ways to compliment men because when you do that you are connecting with them and again, same as chivalry it makes you feel good too. So don’t forget the importance of complimenting men – they don’t get as many as we do, certainly not from other guys and certainly not from us women either so be aware of the importance of that and you’ll be inspired to notice the difference.
Compliments and chivalry – Do it!
Please let me know what wonderful things happen to you by doing it. I think you will all have a story about how something good has happened to you out of doing these two things.
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